A thousand questions and a quippy comment

It starts as soon as it is morning
I debate if I can actually deal with the day.

Should I wear this
or something else

Do I look overdressed
undressed, makeup without reason

Do I look like I care too much
do I look like a slob.

No one answers my questions
people just add on more

"uhm are you sure that's the look
you're going for, geez, it's fine I mean."

As I go through the day
like clothes in a laundry pile on a rainy weekend

they just keep piling and piling
until the bed seems less bed, more clothes.

Do I sound happy or sad
should I make that joke or pull back on the laughs

How do I make myself quirky
Am I interesting enough

Fuck, I'm screwing this conversation over
Is it cause I don't try or try too hard.

The plate seems empty, maybe I should eat
am I losing weight but my clothes seem tight

Maybe I should just keep quiet
does that look fake
like I care (?)
But I do care
sort of. maybe.
well I don't know.

Why am I so pissed off
is it cause I'm hungry

or are they honestly that bad
maybe I'm just PMSing

Or maybe it's just my head screwing around with me
"oh wow, did you just make that out right now"

A thousand questions, no answers
just some quippy comment

Self deprecating bullshit
am I talking to myself again?