camp stories or the woe of never finding original titles for my unoriginal pieces (Part 4 - the end)

Part 4 seems to be a little hard to begin. I've been staring at this screen for half an hour now. I want to write bitter things about how some people don't know how to adjust, how some people are just stupid. What's the point though? I cribbed about it a lot to some people and I think that's enough for now.

They stuck 6 random people together and expected us to work and we did too. At various points I had the thought - I don't have to do this particular thing, this is not my responsibility and it wasn't either. I remember this one particular instance when the final performance was happening and the other south indian kid and I lost it. She was someone who did whatever was asked of her even if it wasn't her responsibility. But at that point even she was pissed off and it was the first time she said why are we the ones who end up doing this? As someone who'd rather not do anything at all and would rather sit on my ass all day long, this was quite a change. I was taking up charge and doing things that were not asked of me. I could have easily sat there and watched things fail and then happen slowly, but I didn't let that happen. I decided to try. This was a big change from the last two years of my life.



                                      
17 year old Archana akka teaching kids the cup song, i've learnt it too btw 




we went to a temple on sunday, sightseeing, i got off my lazy ass instead of saying my normal NO to everything 


yes, 6 people got on a tractor with no seats 

just some south indian bonding/bullying 

also sat here and travelled in an auto hoping i wouldn't fall off 

just culture things. kids couldn't handle my black bindi and instead brought me these 'shiny stickers' everyday


living without mirrors yet colour cordinating so well 



there was a small chaya kada opposite which provided us much needed necessities 


a nice terrace, mangoes and flashlight 


The final performance went well, especially for my club. Kids performed really well. I am quite proud of them and of myself for figuring out the way in which this thing could be perfomed. I realise I've been praising myself quite a lot in these past few posts. I usually never do, I swear. It was a much needed confidence boost. I usually feel like I'm completely incapable of doing things in life but I felt so happy when kids were responding to me and they were so happy after the performance as well. 



                                       
i think the kids did well. also yes, that dance was choreographed by me. i killed it. 


I am sure I missed out a bunch of things and even if I do remember them, I will not type them out. Considering that this would be the last piece of writing I do about this 20 day adventure, I just want to say - Vandana, you did it. Even though you didn't want to go, even when you were scared, even though you didn't want to, and especially when you wanted to, you tried. You did well kid. I am so very proud of you. More proud than I have been since ages. For once, I didn't feel like an imposter because I could see the results in front of me. Thank you kids for showering me with your love when I felt that I was truely incapable of being genuinely loved by anyone. Good job Vandana for staying strong. I hope you stay this motivated for at least some more time and don't fall into the fuck-everything mood you've been in for a while now. You did this Vandana, you can do more and don't hold yourself back from doing more. 



                                       

i swear, i try. 

                                     





no i did not read this book on the flight. i fell asleep the minute i got on and only woke up when the wheels hit the ground
                                                       

And that's the end of the Telangana trip and my blogging rant. It was therapeutic to write. I started unwillingly but the end results are always pleasing. I will do better.